I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
