haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize