No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
