I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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