Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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