he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
