glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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