the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
