Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
