I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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