She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
