He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
