apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
