he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
this will be a night to untag.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
