If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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