i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
