I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
