I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
