they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
