I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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