She's JV to your varsity
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize