so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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