Yo dont text me then not text me
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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