He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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