It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
