Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
