How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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