OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
So here I am, sexting at work.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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