I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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