I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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