Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
