It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
