I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
