If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
