My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
