Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Define "chronic" masturbator.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
