so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
