Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he told me I talked like a deaf person
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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