Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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