Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
