He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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