now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
