I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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