no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
