i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
