Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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