we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
