It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
