One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize