Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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