just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
