I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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