It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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