she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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