Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize