Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
