Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
