I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
