I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
