if i can run in heels then i can drive
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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