I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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