we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
