Too much gin, very little bucket
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
