Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
