We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize