Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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